September 20, 2012
O.K………I’ve been given my marching orders. I’m to write about each of these, attributes of Love and stretch my learning curve. Of course my mind is telling me, “Who do you think you are?” But I’ve learned that when I share what I think I know, more is revealed and I grow and change. So please remember I’m no expert on the subject. I fall short of living up to being a loving person everyday but my intention is to grow from letting God change me from the inside out. God is my refuge and my strength and of myself I am nothing. Thank you God for all that I am and am able to do.
From “The Message” Love never gives up.
From “N.I.V. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,
Love never gives up!!! Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy…
WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! This is not easy. I’m sitting here facing a black space on this page that I call a “writing wall,” I have no idea what to write. When I come up against this wall, like right now I want to quit. What’s happening right now in this moment is a sense of uncertainty and feeling like I have nothing to say, but truth be told I think the bottom line is I’m scared.
So….please give me some slack if I just ramble on. It’s the way I get going, it’s kind of a way of priming the pump of truth in me. If I just stare at the empty space nothing happens. Writing gets the inspiration going and allows me to get out of the way. So here goes!!!
I’ve experienced many times, in different situations, wanting to give up. This has happened to me so many times that I now just ignore the feelings and go ahead and do what ever it is…. “afraid!!!”
Sometimes the inspiration just shows up in my writing. One thing I can say for sure is that although I can’t remember when the concept of God was first revealed to me, what I can say is that I’ve always known God. First as a child, that bargained and tried to get God to do what I wanted done….. to many years later realizing that “surrender” is the key. Surrender to God’s will is a powerful concept that I’ve proven in my life over and over.
Being raised Catholic for me was a gift. The Baltimore Catechism served me well. The one teaching I held on to was; “God is everywhere and in everyone, and God loves me no matter what!!!” The part about God loving me no matter what was not taught to me by my teachers but was demonstrated by my parents.
Eventually I took a side trip from the Catholic Church. After marriage I was led to the Presbyterian Church and raised my family in that tradition until their father died in 1971. Then I went off trying to find my religious niche but was not led to another church for many years.
For the most part, I studied on my own and at times with other women and men of like mind. A few months after my 48th birthday, I found Overeaters Anonymous and the 12 Steps. That work saved my life and changed me completely. I’ve written an essay about that work and if led to I’ll post it.
Three years later through my involvement in O.A., I was led to the Center For Spiritual Awareness, later changed to Center For Spiritual Enlightenment. One thing led to another and by the grace of God, I was ultimately ordained at the age of 54, as an Interfaith Minister of CSA. This was a dream bigger than I could dream but then God’s dream for us is always bigger than we can imagine for ourselves.
In my mind this whole experience was orchestrated by God through the people in my life. People that loved me like my parents did, warts and all. No judgment or criticism, only love and support and encouragement.
I held on to the truth that God is everywhere and in everyone. God waited patiently for me to grow spiritually, encouraging me all along the way, allowing me to explore and study other religions. God has been and is now a patient and loving God waiting for me to grow and change no matter how long my process takes. Love has never given up on me. My father and mother and all the teachers I’ve had in my adult life, were kind, loving and encouraging. I would not be who I am today without the Love I’ve experienced through out my life. God showed up in lots of people and situations.
Am I patient and kind always?…..NO!!! but I never give up on that goal. Nor do I give up on the people in my life. I do my best to pass on what I’ve experienced. I do my best to be encouraging and uplifting, When I miss the mark I ask for forgiveness and move on doing my best not to make the same mistake. I’m not always successful but I look for progress and not perfection. O.K. that’s it for today….that’s a lot. To be continued…..
Remember Love like your life depends on it……..it does!!!
Remember to Feed Your Soul!!!
With Love and Blessings Galore,