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Monthly Archives: April 2012

Step 3…Surrender???

April 25, 2012

Step III

Made a decision to turn my life and my will over to God as we understand God.

What does it mean to surrender my will and my life over to God?  What actions will I take that will demonstrate my surrender.

Most of what I have to do regarding aging is to be willing to change my thinking about what healthy aging feels and looks like and accept what I feel and see. The only way I know for this to happen is for me to change my thinking.

Change my thinking….what does that mean? For me that’s an important part of surrender. Changing my thinking is taking my attention off of my challenges and putting my attention on God. A very simple concept but a very difficult commitment to keep. I’ve learned that setting an intention….and for me today, posting it in this blog, is a powerful thing to do. Between my intention and my goal, “Grace” happens.

So how do I take my attention off my challenges and put my attention on God….One way I can do this is to put my attention on the beauty around me. Another way is to be fully present to what is and not letting my mind take me places that steal my joy. I’ve also memorized scripture and lengthly prayers. Forcing myself to learn these prayers helps keep me focused on God. One of my favorite scriptures is: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge God and God will direct your path.” This scripture is in my own words and comes from Proverbs 3:5. Just repeating this verse brings me peace every time. And for me peace is a sign of answered prayer.

Also I can put my attention on God by praying for others and for myself. Praying for others and for myself opens the door for healing in ways that I can not explain. Being vigilant about my thoughts, praying and affirming that God is in charge and trusting that just by being present I am participating in my growth and change is happening. I know that one day I’ll look back and I will notice that I have changed. Remembering that it’s progress not perfection that I will see.

For the last couple of years I thought I was aging gracefully that is until about eight months ago when arthritic pain hit my body with vengeance. This was adversity personified. I like what Charles Stanley, the well known television preacher said, “Adversity is always unexpected and unwelcomed. It is an intruder and a thief, and yet in the hands of God, adversity becomes the means through which God’s supernatural power is demonstrated.”

Adversity becomes the means through which God’s supernatural power is demonstrated….surrender is the key that unlocks this power!!!

“Remember to feed your soul!”

Until next time.

Blessings Galore to all of you with Love,

Anne

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Step 2 – THE HEALING CONTINUES………

April 9, 2012

Step 2 – THE HEALING CONTINUES………

Step 2. Came to believe that a Power Greater than myself can restore me to sanity.

Sanity being….. “Doing something over and over again and expecting different results.”

When I left off last time I left pondering…. So what is it that I am doing over and over again, in my aging process, and expecting different results?

What came up for me as I thought about Step 2 is that it’s…. not what I’m doing over and over….it’s what I’m not doing over and over.

At this stage in my life acceptance is key. Acceptance and gratitude for what is. I need to repeatedly go to surrender and willingness so I can get to acceptance. Right now I’m not willing to accept that sometimes my joints scream at me.  Right now I’m not willing to accept that I’m impatient and sometimes rude with solicitors on the phone. Right now I am not willing to accept that my hair is very dry and hard to handle. Right now I’m not willing to accept that I sometimes forget things and even get confused and confuse others in my life.

That’s the truth….right now I am not willing. But…..I am willing to be willing, to be willing, to be willing…..Right now I have to back off that far from being willing. But….I know that as I continue to let go and speak my truth, and open my heart a little bit to be willing, a time will come when my Higher Power will do for me what I seem to be unable to do for myself.

I’ve been here before. My experience is that it is enough…. for me to be willing, to be willing, to be willing, and I know that gradually, slowly but surely, I will know that willingness has arrived and I will accept what is.

Right now I can be grateful for being able to walk. I’m grateful that I have the money to see a Chiropractor….who by the way has already helped me a lot. I went to Valley Fair today and walked around for a couple of hours after going for a walk in the park and my joints did not scream, in fact they just whispered a bit. For several months, I have not be able to walk any distance at all with out being in a lot of pain. So I am truly grateful to be able to walk almost pain free.

I am also grateful that I have hair….I know women who’s hair is so thin you can see their scalp. My hair is a lot thinner but I don’t have any obvious bald spots. I’m grateful that I’m learning new ways to take care of the hair I have.

I’m grateful that when I hang up after being rude to a phone solicitor I can say, “God please forgive me…..I am powerless over my impatience but I know you will restore me to sanity. Please grant me the patience to wait and to trust that You are working in my life even when I’m acting like I’m out of my mind.

Working the steps is not a piece of cake. But I’ve had enough experience to know that even though this feels impossible, all things are possible with God!!!

Your thoughts and questions are most welcome. Please respond if you are led to.

Step 3 is next….Made a decision to turn my life and my will over to God as I understand God.

“Remember to Feed Your Soul”

With Much Love and Blessings Galore!!!

Anne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on April 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Questions from a reader….

The following is an e-mail note I received from a dear friend. I asked permission to print her questions. So following each question are my thought in italic.

 

Dear Anne,

It has been a while since I read one of your blogs, maybe since you first started. It felt like I was connecting with you. I love who you are and what you stand for. Reading your blog this morning with my breakfast was like having you here with me.

 I’d like to ask about a few things. (I’m just pushing buttons here and stirring things up.)

I like to have my buttons pushed. It gets me thinking and pondering what I think, believe and more importantly know.

If God is the creator and he/she created us in her likeness, wouldn’t we be perfect, whole and complete? I guess I have a little trouble with the language of the 12 steps.  

At our core yes we are perfect, whole and complete. We come into the world that way but we forget who we are from the minute we are born and we start covering up who we are with beliefs, attitudes and decisions we make based upon what happens to us along the way. 

 

If we need to recover, that would imply that we are sick?

 I like to think about recovery as a path to wholeness. A path to waking up to who we truly are. The 12th step says, Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry it out!!!

 

Are we perfect even though we are sick?

Always at our core we are perfect no matter what. Sickness is one way we cover up who we are. Prayer and Meditation is the only way I know to stay connected with God and with my Higher Self, thereby following our inner guidance to healing and recovery.

 

Is this sickness merely what we call being human in this culture and time?

I don’t think so….I’m not totally sure what sickness is all about. I think it’s more complicated than we can imagine. Stay close to God and don’t worry about getting sick.

 

And the ‘recovery’ is our path to [greater] peace and joy?

That’s the way it is for me. Recovery is my path to greater peace and joy?

I enjoyed hearing your onion analogy, I have often likened my own growth process to peeling back the layers of an onion (and sometimes tears are involved).

 I love you and I hope you have the day of your dreams today.

 

O.K……”Remember to feed your soul”…..and surprise me and comment or ask questions.

Much Love and Blessings Galore!!!

Anne

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

THE HEALING CONTINUES….

 

April 3, 2012

THE HEALING CONTINUES….

Yes the 12 steps filled my Spiritual Tool Box and I was on a path to recovery. Recovering for me is not a destination. Recovery for me is a process. And as long as I live I will be on this road called recovery.

We don’t ever recover from being human. If we are living life fully, we are challenged every time we turn a corner. For me it’s been like peeling an onion. Layer after layer of “stuff” to learn and grow from. As long as I look at life that way I remain hopeful, peaceful and full of joy.

So now as I look at my life, where I’ve been and where I may be going I’m able to look at the various challenges I’ve faced and walk with my head up high, my heart and mind open, trusting that this next phase will be as fruitful as the last.

I’ve had an amazing life. All my dreams came true…. all I ever dreamed about was getting married and having children. That’s where my dreams ended. I was 28 years old and had three children. I loved being a mother and a wife and all that goes with those roles….and I was living those roles fully. I really was happy right where “I was planted!”

So I went from being a wife and mother to being a widow, to being  a single parent, working full time  as an office manage and a sales rep. It was during this time I met Bob and married him and his five children.

It was after being married for about 5 years that my world fell apart. It was about that time that I discovered the 12 steps. Three years later I’m studying to be a minister and three years after that I’m ordained. We are now up to 1988. I spent 20 years as an associate minister. 2003 I completed my thesis and I’m awarded a Master’s in Divinity. All of this is by the Grace of God and my willingness to be led. What a Ride!!! I loved every minute of it all.

So here I am almost 78 1/2 years old and in the throws of the aging process.

Step one says for me today:

1.  I am powerless over the aging process and my life is a bit unmanageable.

My life is unmanageable because some of the challenges I face are inevitable. My work today and probably for the rest  of my life is trusting that a power greater than myself is and ever will be my refuge and my strength. I’ve learned if I cultivate my inner life and follow my intuition, doing what I can do, God will do for me what I am unable to do anything about.

That lead me me to step two:

2.  Came to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.

Restore me to sanity. I have no problem accepting this step because for me the definition of insanity is, “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

I have to think about this step for awhile regarding aging. When I worked this step with food and people it was very clear to me what it was that I kept doing over and over expecting different results. I had to challenge everything I did around food and people. Today by the Grace of God my eating is healthier. More often than not I eat three moderate meals a day with nothing in between. And….my relationships for the most part are healed. I no longer do for another what they are capable of doing for themselves. This was tricky for me because I love to help others and I still do help others I just don’t do for them what I know and can support them doing for themselves.

So what is it that I am doing over and over expecting different results.???

I need to ponder this for a few days and then I’ll continue!!!

“Remember to Feed Your Souls!!!”

With Much Love and Blessing Galore,

Anne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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