February 8, 2012
I think I’ve shared with you before that I’m a slow learner. Well maybe that’s true about what I’m about to write and maybe not. Sometimes it’s hard for me to discern what is going on until I sit down to write. Quite often after I reread what I’ve written I wonder where my thoughts came from. I’m amazed at what is revealed as I write. I love this process. For me it’s a way to pray and sometimes to get answers to what is happening.
So what am I talking about. Well there’s a fine line here that I’m looking at regarding the arthritic pain in my body. I’m not sure how much of what I’ve done so far, is me trying to take charge and how much is truly me doing my best to follow God’s guidance. But….I know one thing for sure God used it all to get me to a new level of surrender.
I have tried everything I can think of to help my body heal itself of arthritic pain. I’ve seen my regular doctor, an orthopedic surgeon, a chiropractor, an acupuncturist, a physical therapist and a holistic doctor.
Well it feels like I’m back to square one except, by the Grace of God…. I am feeling better. My pain level is low. I’m back to exercising at the gym and am looking for an easy beginning Yoga Class.
To the best of my ability, I’ve done everything that I think I was led to do??? And now I’m ready to surrender. This surrender is not easy because it comes with the realization that this arthritic condition is one that….I plain an simply have to accept!!! Oh that doesn’t mean that I just give up and give in to the pain. No it just means that this is where I am with my 78 year old body. I’ve used it well, taken care of it to the best of my ability, which I will continue to do but pain will always be something I have to deal with, hopefully with love, gentleness and Tylenol.
I am feeling better, physically, mentally and spiritually. I think every healing modality I tried contributed to my progress. I also have a better sense of why what we think affects how we heal. I’ve learned that when we have pain in our bodies the brain records it and will replay it over and over and over. What we tell ourselves about the pain determines whether or not we break the chain that binds us. The worse thing we can do is be frightened by it. What works best is to trust that it will go away or lessen to the point where it is manageable. And….to say loving, supportive, faith filled affirmations to change the mind.
In Romans 12:2m we read, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” WOW….it works.
I feel like I’m back in the flow of what is, instead of trying to change “it.” With this surrender my intention is to float along the river of Life. The Life that is lived within us. Saying yes to that always-existent Life is what works. I’ve come to accept once again that Life always includes pain of some sort. For some reason we need pain to help us grow and change. Much like a plant needs to be pruned for new growth to flourish, so do we. But also I’ve learned once again that suffering is optional. Oh yes I did…. on a few occasions fall into suffering mode. Feeling sorry for myself, I let the frustration of it all get the best of me and my ability to be kind, gentle and patient with myself and unfortunately with others, like poor Bob.
The other piece of what I’ve relearned once again is the power of gratitude. I am so blessed to be 78 years old and to be able to walk, to see clearly with my glasses, to so far be able to hear without hearing aids and to have lots of energy to do whatever I make up my mind to do providing I do most of it early in the day…..take a short rest and then move more slowly in the afternoon. I’m blessed with a loving, kind, patient husband that loves me no matter what!!! I have a very large, loving family and have many opportunities to enjoy being with them. I a truly blessed.
O.K. Acceptance, surrender, go with the flow, all important reminders for me and hopefully for you.
“Remember to feed you soul.!!!”
Love and Blessings Galore,