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Regret # 5

22 Jul

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Author’s comments….

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Following are my comments….

This is usually a difficult one to understand, especially when in the midst of difficult, depressing situations we think….”This will never end.” But I understand that fear…it is a killer. Fear of being uncomfortable. Whether it’s about being truthful about thoughts and feelings or taking risks to make changes…. it’s always more comfortable to just pretend all is o.k. I can’t help but think about the frog who falls in a pot of water on the stove. It is gradually getting warmer and wamer until it the water boils and cooks the poor guy to death. That’s what happens to us in our lives.

It took me 30 years of working hard on myself to remove the blocks to true happiness in my life. Being authentic, taking risks and living fully is what fertilizes happiness for me. I have many stories to tell but today I’m led to ask you what you think about …..

Regret #5, I wish that I had let myself  be happier.

1. What keeps you from being happy?

2. What do you tell yourself about your life situations?

3. Who do you blame for your unhappiness or do you take responsibility for you part in the matter?

I think that’s enough for today. Take a risk and respond…you may grow from it!!!

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13 Comments

Posted by on July 22, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

13 responses to “Regret # 5

  1. dianemilo

    July 23, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Oh my – so much to respond to with this one! Will definitely write a response when I get back to CA!

     
  2. bob Welker

    July 26, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    Great stuff. As you know I have been very happy for the last 34 years.

    Luv u,

    Bob

     
  3. Betsy Moore

    July 27, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    Hey baby I really have enjoyed your thoughts and the amazing learning project this life of ours really is. I think quiet time to reflect the comings and goings of our lives is so important as sometimes takes years to figure out why something or someone happened to us….B
    P.S My precious kitty The Professor died in my arms this morning as I was calling the vet. I have no idea what was wrong but he suddenly was ill and gone. But I am lucky as I have other cats. Maybe the universe is making my path a simpler one.

     
    • revwelker

      July 30, 2011 at 3:51 pm

      Oh my sweet Betsy, I’m so sorry you’ve lost The Professor. I’m grateful you have other cats but I know you will miss him. What an honor that he chose to die in your arms.

      Thank you for honoring my blog. I appreciate your comments as well.

       
  4. Nalini

    July 30, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    Dearest Rev. Anne,

    I am so grateful that Goddess/God is my foundation in this One Precious Life, I am grateful to be aware and acknowledge God’s Grace Shining in my life, in All our Life! Even in the midst of the Major changes in my life, right now, I have a deep sense of Joy! in Knowing that Goddess’s/God’s Plan is set, I just have to keep doing the footwork, staying focused on the goal, that I am not in charge, being as open and compassionate and loving with my Self, so that I can be that for others.
    All of this brings me Great Joy in my life! and allows me to Shine Forth that Joy out in our world!
    Gratitude for your blog and great questions! and deep sharing!
    ~Nalini

     
    • revwelker

      July 31, 2011 at 8:09 pm

      Nalini…..thank you so much for your wise words.

       
  5. revwelker

    July 31, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    Here’s a reply sent to me via e-mail. I did get permission to post it….

    These are the questions in #5 so I’ll attempt to respond to them. It might take awhile as I’m usually not so introspective as to analyze my life, life actions and the results so specifically.

    1. What keeps you from being happy?
    This was more pertinent when I was younger, but even then I was a happy person most of the time. At this time in my life I am mostly happy or is it contented?? with what I do and how I live. I’m fortunate in having a good husband and we have a good, and sometimes great, life together and apart. Being not happy occurs when I hear of illnesses in family and friends that are beyond my control or ability to prevent or cure. The best I can do is stay in touch and let them know how I feel about them.
    The one big thing that used to and still does keep me from being happy is conflict. Confrontation with conflict with someone “one on one” or the greater conflicts in the world of which I can do little to solve. The “one on one” happens less often as I am prone to be tactful and diplomatic with others……or I avoid conflictual people if at all possible. When the other is a family member I am usually the one to walk away or just not bring up a subject that will end in conflict…….I think this was ingrained in us as children in a family of 5 siblings. Lots of stories coming up in my memory banks about this!!
    The greater conflicts of the world are best not worried about all the time. Do your part, i.e. contributions to causes, volunteer for something, etc. but don’t let it eat up your entire life. I would never sleep if I thought about all the problems in the world.

    I’ll save the rest for another day.

    Patty

     
  6. Judy Welker

    August 2, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    Wow, I finally read this. I have alot of work ahead of me. I know this, but still not ready to take it all on yet. Judy W.

     
    • revwelker

      August 2, 2011 at 11:38 pm

      Hi Judy, This is hard work but worth every minute you spend. Take you time and write when you have time or are led to do so.
      I love you Judy and am honored that you are reading this and are willing to work on this stuff. It makes me very happy.
      Love
      Anne

       
  7. Norma

    August 8, 2011 at 7:51 am

    This is a lot to think about. What keeps me unhappy are the old stories that I continue to hold onto as truth. They are in fact untruths that interfere with my true essence. My spiritual practice has brought wisdom and the ability to heal so that I can recognize the stories for what they are — a distraction. Being in the moment brings me to joy. Being in gratitude brings happiness instantly. When I get really unhappy…the only way out I have found is acceptance and surrender. Here is a passage I live by…”And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation — some fact of my life–unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake….unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.” As I have been told… “my misery is in proportion to my expectations.”

    Happiness is a choice which I am making more often than not.

     
    • revwelker

      August 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm

      Dear Norma….that you for that wonderful passage. I love that “BOOK.” And….I agree….it’a all true!!!

       
  8. dianemilo

    August 9, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Accepting people and situations as exactly the way they are supposed to be at that moment – a wise statement, but yet so incredibly hard to do. It seems as though this one simple statement (and all of the complexity that is behind it) is the source of most if not all our inner turmoil. It is so very hard to accept things that feel wrong or out of balance or unhealthy as being what they are supposed to be. For me, this is definitely an ongoing lesson that I am trying to learn – and I don’t always do very well with it. Ah…

     
  9. Patricia Madden

    August 17, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    . What keeps you from being happy?
    wanting my son to live up to my expectations’

    2. What do you tell yourself about your life situations?
    I’m Good

    3. Who do you blame for your unhappiness or do you take responsibility for you part in the matter?
    I don’t blame anyone but I try hard not to blame myself.
    Love you Anne

     

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